Interpersoanl Communication Essay Example

Interpersoanl Communication Essay Communication is not an easy process. It involves verbal and non-verbal attempts to assist the other person to understand what we are trying to communicate. Yet it often fails. Word Count: 1984 Each and every individual person communicates in their own unique way. People are distinctive in their culture, beliefs, age, gender, emotional intelligence, thought patterns and social skills. Thus communication can breakdown. Interaction between people, be it verbal or non verbal, is wide, varied and constant. The manner in which people communicate differs greatly.When communication fails it often leads to feelings of frustration, anger, and embarrassment. In conversation encoding is the way in which a message is sent, spoken or written. Decoding is to interpret and understand what has been said or written. Within a conversation between two people they are both encoding and decoding. Messages are also being sent weather they be deliberate or not. The choices of clothes and how they are worn, a hair style or tattoo are all messages sent without a word being spoken. These are signals that are saying who you are, yet can be misinterpreted.Therefore feed back is valuable in communication. â€Å"Feedback tells the speaker what effect she or he is having on listeners† (Devito, 2009, p10). People may choose to alter their physical look or style dependant on whether they receive negative or positive feedback. However, having competence in ones self and the message that they are communicating is an immense skill. In addition people not only communicate with speech or writing but also through touch. The source of communication needs to be adjusted appropriately to the selected receiver.Therefore feedforward messages assist in gaining peoples attention. There are many barriers to effective communication. Language and culture can be an obstacle when communicating. Simple gestures in one culture may be offensive to another. One person’s behavior could be unacceptable in one culture but completely normal in their own, unintentionally offending. In addition age can challenge productive listening; people can form an opinion or assume what is going to be said, thus misunderstanding what is being said.A person can become preoccupied and messages become distorted when your mind is not on the job and is distracted by other thoughts. According to Lewis, Tom D; Graham, Gerald (2003) â€Å"Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. That tendency is perhaps the greatest barrier to effective listening† (pp23-24). Noise can be a difficult barrier when trying to communicate. The sound of traffic close by, other people talking in a public area, loud music can all interfere in the course of communication.Being mindful of background noise before you start is important. Choosing your timing and environment are invaluable. Having low self-esteem people tend to worry about what other p eople are thinking of them and thus the message that they are trying to communicate may get lost. As a result it may be difficult to convey their message fully and it will not be as powerful as what it could be. Audiences get distracted and assumptions can be made. The message has not clearly been listened to.In business, Dresner (2005) states of Meryl Runion, Founder and CEO of SpeakStrong â€Å"Runion warns that 86 percent of business failures are due to poor communication, she notes other dangers include gossip, alienation, mistakes, missed opportunities and false expecations† (p2). This can be particularly dangerous and catastrophic in a working environment. It results in lost time and perhaps the work required simply either not getting done or being done incorrectly. This can have a flow on effect to time limits, financial constraints and other consequences to the business and also to employees.Email is largely the major form of communicate in the modern world; however i t is open to misinterpretation. The tone of a persons voice and non verbal cues are lost on an email and people can read and intemperate words written differently than perhaps intended. Email can miss vital signals that would be seen if a conversation was taking place face to face. The context in which things are said can be interpreted in various ways and may cause the receiver to jump to conclusions, emails lack emotion. Feed back can be delayed when using email as a source of communication.Written or verbal communication can be ineffective if the person talking is not getting to the point, not using appropriate language or does not inspire or motivate. It takes time and effort not to form an opinion when feed back is delayed and not to react excessively. When aggressive behavior is used effective communication breaks down. Influencing a person in this situation to be more passive is an enormous skill. The aggressive person may feel due to their initial outburst that judgments hav e been formed.Stereo typing needs to be carefully tuned and conclusions not jumped to. Good social skills will reach a greater audience. Recognising and adjusting your communication, using empathy, good listening, having self awareness and emotional intelligence are assisting factors to effective communication. Emotional intelligence is a quality, in addition there is always potential to improve and learn this throughout life. Effective communication requires practical skills. Learned skills used in all areas of life can give the outcome desired.Greater knowledge of interpersonal communication is an advantage in all areas of life, from relationships with friends, partners, children, and in a professional capacity. The ability to communicate with a variety of people is an enormous advantage. Devito (2009) stated â€Å"the more you know about interpersonal communication, the more insight and knowledge you’ll gain about what works and what doesn’t work† (p3). Liste ning is different to hearing. Hearing takes place over and over again and sometimes requires no attention to be given.Listening gives people the ability to relate to people, to persuade and influence beliefs and ideas, to participate and have fun and to be of assistance to others. â€Å"Listening is surely one of the most important of all interpersonal communication skills† (Devito, 2009, p 79). Effective listening involves maintaining eye contact, verbal and non verbal messages, understanding and remembering, selecting tone of voice, paraphrasing what has been said, being active, giving feedback and using a variety of questioning.Deliberately using non verbal messages like nodding, smiling, sitting with an open frame can assist a person who is speaking. Non verbal messages can provide a feeling of confidence to the speaker that they are being understood and shows that their message is being taken notice of. Further more Burton and Dimbleby (2006,p113 cited in Mehrabian,1971) state â€Å"It has also been suggested by Mehrabian that of the messages received in a conversation, 7 percent are verbal, 38 percent are vocal, (paralanguage) and 55 per cent are facial and nonverbal†.Therefore using non verbal messages and an open frame is fundamental in communicating. People who have a disability use their senses differently and are perhaps more in tune with what they can use. For example in communicating with a person who is hearing impaired their vision is heightened. Using non verbal signals, using your hands to explain, will assist the hearing impaired person improve their understanding of the conversation. People use facial expressions when speaking and this will also assist the communication.Selecting the appropriate tone and not yelling will aid the conversation. Being selective with your questions and using language that is easy to understand and perhaps be lip read is worthwhile. Blind people can sense body language, so while the blind may not se e non verbal cues people should not presume that those signals are not being communicated. The use of touch by the blind can assist non verbal communication. Simply holding someone’s hand people can feel emotion through touch. Also describing in greater detail what you are saying is advisable as facial expressions are lost.Using closed questions may produce a short answer; however using leading or affective questions may keep the flow of conversation. Evaluation is best when all the information has been heard, crucial points can missed if responses are being formed whilst the speaker is still speaking. Devito (2009) states â€Å"Interpersonal communication cannot be prevented (is inevitable), cannot be reversed (is irreversible) and cannot be repeated (is unrepeatable)† (p24). Non verbal communication may not be intentional; however people can pick up on behavior that is being displayed.People should be aware of their behavior even if they are not in conversation, inev itably you will be seen. People may try to take back or explain in greater detail what has been said however as Devito (2009) states â€Å"Interpersonal communication is irreversible †¦. you can not uncommunicate† (p25). Furthermore people do not have the ability to repeat exactly what has been said. That exact moment, feeling and tone has passed. People can repeat in more detail, explaining what they perceive alas it will be slightly different. Knowledge about ones self is a benefit.Devito (2009) suggests that there are four sections of self awareness that becomes a whole. Also known as the Johari window the four areas of self awareness are the Open self, Hidden Self, Blind Self and Unknown Self, all of which connect together. The open self is who a person fundamentally is. Details that are specific to one person and that is known to others. How much a person discloses is adjusted in different situations. The hidden self is information about a person that they do not wa nt to disclose to others. The blind self is particulars that other people are aware of but the person does not.For example a person may bite their nails when nervous, however they are not aware of this trait. The unknown self is not know by others of by ones self, a little mysterious, perhaps learning will reveal qualities that were not know before. Having an understanding of the Johari window people can learn more about them selves and improve their self awareness. Also having positive self esteem is an asset to ones self and to the people that they interact with everyday. Being more self aware people have respect for other people and control over personal emotion.Emotions are influenced easily by a situation. Being able to adjust emotions as to what situation is presently being played out is valuable. As stated in Devito(2009) â€Å"The important point is that emotions can work for you or against you† (p165). Being optimistic and having the ability to remain calm in a situa tion that has an unknown ending demonstrates having control of emotions. To manage your emotions sometimes means holding back emotions what people want to express, however they need to sensor it. Sometimes people simply do not choose emotions as they are instant and without any thought process.For example if you witness a fatal car accident a normal emotion would be to cry. Some work environments emotions are suppressed due to the constant nature and involvement of that work. A police officer who works in traffic management may have the ability not to express emotion at a fatal car accident. That certainly demonstrates control of emotions. Gaining knowledge of self awareness, control of emotion, good listening skills, paraphrasing, having empathy and giving feed back are all improvement skills. To achieve this of ones self gives a person the ability to be of assistance others.Using these learned skills appropriately people can gain insight into them selves and enable others to reach their full potential. The ability to reserve solutions unless asked for and to question people in the appropriate way allows people to communicate easily. People know that they are being heard and understood when paraphrased. All strategies that are used to improve communication should be viewed as positive. Verbal and non verbal communication often does fail however people who learn to advance and develop greater knowledge in effective communication are an improvement to the whole community.Communication need not fail if people simply keep learning and gaining knowledge and understanding and acceptance of them selves and of others. Communication is necessary; people naturally need to interact with other people. Reference: Burton, G. and Dimbleby R. (2006) Between Ourselves. London: Hodder Education Dresner,M (2005) Get Results with Effective Communication. Devito, J. (2009) Interpersonal Communication. Boston: Pearsons Education Lewis,T. D and Graham,G. (2003) 7 Tips For Effective Listening.